seems longer today.
Is it Thanksgiving yet??
Cause I could really use a break.
Second week of clinicals today. Me and my partner were in the Oncology unit (and will be again, tomorrow. Back to med-surg for the remaining 3 weeks of this rotation.) But first, let me tell you about last week...
Last week (med-surg unit) was an exercise in patience and humility. I felt like an absolute moron. And most of my classmates did too-which made me feel a little better-but I hate feeling so clueless! You don't know where anything is, what the normal routine is, how to act/deal with people, patients, nurses, doctors. Also, no matter how out of the way you try to be, you're going to be in SOMEONE'S way. There were moments where I just wanted to melt into the wall. And let me tell you, this is not my personality! I'm usually pretty good at being calm, cool and collected under stress. Now, I did manage that on the outside (or so my classmates say...), but on the inside! OH, no.
Also, it didn't help that our nurse was kind of... Well, I don't want to say bitchy...
I try to remember that we don't know what's going on in her personal life or what kind of day she has had, but she was just so rude! Any question you asked her (and granted, I'm sure we asked some stuuupid questions) she would roll her eyes or be really snotty. Now, I know she's got 7 patients that need about 100 things right now, but short and succinct would do. I don't need to be coddled, just don't make me feel even worse than I do! So after a few times where you ask or tell her something and she goes and laughs about your idiocy with her friends (Happened. Twice.), you begin to REALLY dread going over to her.
The CNA's were super nice though. And this merciful RN who we traded answers for stupid questions, for running her lab specimens and such around. We were glad to do it, we want to help! That's what were here for. Learning and helping. But again, every time in passing we would ask if we could do anything for our nurse she'd say no and run away from us as fast as possible.
I'm sure I'm missing something and this is somehow my fault, but it was very unpleasant. I mean, I didn't expect a cake walk, but feeling like I have to suit up for battle to report to her is very taxing.
Also, I had two partners. One (the one I'm partnered with today and tomorrow) is really sweet and pleasant to be with. However, the OTHER one, not so much. She really doesn't deal with stress well. She is EXTREMELY patronizing about the most inane things. She is a big question asker. She asks questions about everything. Which, on principle, I don't mind. But don't bother our teacher or nurse with a question that we can find out ourselves. Or my favorite, when she is doing something wrong or forgetting something and me or the other partner reminds her, she proceeds to ignore us, and the teacher/nurse walks by and corrects us -.-
SIGH. But I never have to be partnered with her, again. HALLELUJAH.
So fast forward to this morning. I was EXTREMELY nervous about getting an unpleasant nurse again and being on a different unit where everything is different, again. But it turns out, our RN was REALLY nice. She didn't baby us or anything, but she also didn't scoff when I asked her how they did this thing or that. We got to be a lot more involved than we were in the med-surg and that was really, really nice. I want to be like a sponge while I'm at the hospital and soak every bit of information I can!
Although, inevitably, it was hard to see the reality of the oncology unit. Unfortunately, I am not as much of a stranger to it as I wish I was, as I have had all too many friends and family have to battle the big C. But seeing it from a caretaker's perspective was different. Our patient actually only had benign tumors that were only removed because the sheer size and placement of them were interfering with normal functioning, but there were some very sick people in there.
I think I pulled it off okay, but on the inside, I just didn't know what to do or how to act. I just want to help them so badly! There were some very special people we got to meet today and that does give me renewed inspiration to get through this and get out into the world and really help some people! But at the same time, it reminded me what a long road this is.
When will I ever feel like I have a clue?? I'm afraid that answer might be never.
And my last little bit in the nursing school vent-fest, is my headaches! I don't know if it's stress, dehydration or not being used to not eating for 7-8 hours, but by the fifth hour I have a near debilitating migraine working up to a fever pitch in my head. Every day we've gone to clinicals I've gotten one. And on a 0-10 scale I would say they were at least a 7. The kind where I go home, take 800mg of ibuprofen, crawl into the fetal position in bed and try to sleep it off. Thus my game plan for tomorrow includes subbing my usual morning coffee for a couple glasses of water (okay, well maybe half a cup of coffee!), trying to run by the water fountain once an hour and bring a granola bar to stow in my pocket so right around 10/11 I'll try to sneak away for a minute and scarf it down. Also, I might bring a couple ibuprofen in like my contacts case or something to take preventatively, before the time the headaches have been starting.
Hopefully it works!
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