Sometimes I wonder if I'm numbing my creativity. I love to write and paint and draw and dance. And I perfectionist my inspirations to death before I indulge in the fun of it.
I've always done my best ANYTHING whilst in emotional pain. After a break-up, major disappointment, etc. etc. However, my life has as of late been great! Smooth sailing, minus any weird dramas I make up in my head. (I.e. my mother-in-law must hate me!) And I've been kind of uninspired. I've had a few ideas here and there, but nothing even close to the all encompassing passion and drive to do something with every fiber of my being like before.
Sometimes I blame it on those around me. You're supposed to be inspired by your surroundings right? Well, they definitely don't inspire me. Most of the people I interact with on a daily basis (family included, I'm sorry to say) I really don't like! And so I don't do their character justice in my own mind. If I wrote about them it would be full of my own hateful agenda.
And really, let's be honest. Who's problem is this really? Uh, me. Every person is valid and inspiring. I just need to find it.
Or fuck it, come up with my own inspiration!
Yup, I'm pretty sure this made no sense.
And I refuse to re-read it.
I'm going to leave this raw and rambly and reflect on it later.
P.S.
Actually ate healthy today.
And did all my chores/errands.
And except for what could arguably be "complaining" in this entry, I have not complained once.
... In case you were wondering.
Which I'm sure you were.
P.P.S.
Okay, bye for real this time.
Bye.
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