Does this gown make my butt look big?

Actually, it kind of does. At least, I didn't think my butt was that big...

Such a stylish, sexy beast. I know :) 

Anyways, GREAT day at clinicals today. 

A) I wasn't a giant bundle of nerves. 

B) I'm finally getting into the swing of things. Where things are, who to ask, who to avoid, how to deal with patients, etc etc 

C) The staff - dare I say it - actually likes us now! 

That all combines to make for a great day :) Let's hope tomorrow goes just as smoothly!

October.

To me, October is the metaphorical Spring of the year. I don't know why, but whenever fall starts coming around, I can practically smell promise and opportunity in the air! It's palpable!
I get a new pep in my step. (Which I really could use right about now... Nursing school isn't a joke!!)
It gets cooler. The air smells fresher!
Out with the hot, staleness of a summer that probably hung on too long-it did this year! (Hooray for living in south Texas...) In with the crisp, wonderfulness that is October.
During October, the semester is halfway through. Which always motivates me to give it that extra push to make it 'till the end! (Now, this tends to be gone by Thanksgiving, but hey-it's Spring damnit! Optimism!) And now that I'm in a school where we take 8 week semesters, I'm actually going to a new class soon.
And we can't forget all the fun events! Oktoberfest, Rocky Horror Picture Show viewings, Halloween. Candy EVERYWHERE, all month!
Starting to think about what to get everyone for Christmas. :) I love doing that. I always try to be super thoughtful. (Which you kind of have to be with a budget like mine, lol.)
Also, it's the beginning of family season.
Now, this might seem ironic considering most of my family I don't get along with or am not close to. But it's actually made me appreciate the ones I'm close to even more. And now I have an excuse at least once a month to get together with them :) (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years)
Now, I'm actually not a big winter fan. I feel like clothes here are never warm enough. But for the fall, and ESPECIALLY for October, I am one happy lady. :)



Happy October y'all!

P.S.

I am OBSESSED with this song and slowly with this band, too. I hadn't heard of them before! Just love.

babiesbabiesbabies

I don't know what it is, but over the last six months (bear in mind, I've only been married a year...) I've really had babies on the brain! I'm still in my early 20's and have so much more I want to do before babies, but I just can't stop thinking about them. I thought once nursing school started it would clear up, but no! I mean, I do think about it less due to less brain cell availability, but I still think about it. A lot.

Does that even make sense? Wanting a baby and not wanting a baby at the same time?? Luckily I can guarantee my logical self is going to win this argument. We are absolutely, 100% waiting until after school to even really broach the subject. But even though logically I know the time is not now, it doesn't make the desire go away. Ah, to be a man and have my emotions make sense... 

So, to remind myself, every time I get into a baby craze (if my husband doesn't, that is lol) I've created a Bucket Crib List? Diaper Pale List? Eh, you get the idea. A-List-of-Shit-I-Should-Do-Before-Popping-Out-Babies.

It is as follows:

Buy a house.

Furnish said house to my liking. I'm not going to have extra time or money to decorate a house with a new baby!

Get my ASN (program I'm currently in.)

Pay those loans off.

Save for getting my BSN.

Get my BSN!

Spend time being cute and couple-y with my husband. One of us has always been in school for the entire length of our relationship. It'd be nice to just go to work and go home and have a life for a change! Not have to go home and study for hours on end. 

Establish an untouchable savings account of at least 3 months expenses, just in case. I know we should already have one now, but letmetellyou, cops do NOT get paid enough and school is WAY too expensive.

Travel! So many places, I won't even get into naming them all right now.

Be debt-free. Currently all of our debt consists of a $70 balance on my Target card and my student loans, but in case we accrue more, I want to be straightened out before we bring a baby into the equation.

Get cracking on that list of passions I want to pursue!

I'm sure there's more. But that's the gist. I know life doesn't end when you have a baby, but having all that accomplished really would make the transition easier. And more importantly, would allow us to secure a better future for that child. 

If I'm honest with myself and really think about how long this could all take, that puts me at maybe 27, at the earliest, when we start really thinking about children. And that puts the hubby at nearly 30. I don't particularly like the thought of waiting that long, but it'll be worth the wait :) Plus there is so much more fun to be had while we're young and carefree! I just need to remember that.

Week in Review

So about a week ago (exactly a week ago? Whatever.) I made all these promises about changes I wanted to make in my life. And in an effort not to sound like a shitty boyfriend who talks about how he'll change all the time, I actually tried to hold myself accountable to those.

To sum up, my goals were these:

Homework/Studying
Follow my calendar for the day (both personally and for school)
Eat healthy
Exercise  at least 2x/week
Meditate 5-10 mins/day
Stop neglecting hubby
Be a Listener and NOT an over-sharer
Facebook Hiatus

I did okay. I know Rome wasn't built in a day and it takes time to make and break habits, but who doesn't love seeing immediate results with no work?

I didn't follow my schedules and accomplish all of the homework (which consisted mainly of required reading), however I did TRY. The problem was the sheer volume this week was just incredible. I'm hoping to catch back up today and start fresh for the week. If I can manage to read 3 chapters today and finish my clinical paperwork, I won't be golden, but I'll at least have a fighting chance to get back on schedule. I'll let you know how that goes...

I didn't exercise, like, at all. Although in clinicals on Friday, I did help move and clean a 300 pound woman. That should count for something, because I'll tell you, that was damn hard work lol. I'm really going to try hard to get those 2x in this week, though.

I did eat pretty decently this week. Not great, but better than my usual. Yesterday I finally went to the store and stocked up on a bunch of healthy stuff. I didn't buy any junk food for myself, so that should take care of that! As long as I don't go out anywhere and stick to what I bought, my diet will be fine. I'm going to start taking pictures of what I eat, too. I promise I won't dump it all on you here, but I do plan on making a photo food journal. I used to keep a written journal, but I find I don't feel as accountable as actually seeing what all I ate does. I may post the highlights or especially smart ideas, but I promise I won't bore you with every meal I eat, every day of the week :D

I didn't meditate every day, but I did manage it three times. That's a start, right? And I am trying to be more relaxed and mindful all the time.

Unfortunately I did continue to neglect my hubby this week. It's not that I didn't try, but as I mentioned before the workload was a bit much this week. I did make an effort to cook a meal for us a couple times, where we sat down and actually got to chat. And I made his lunch for work a couple times, too. I think it's a start in letting him know I care, even when I'm busy. Though he does wish I had more time for him, I'm lucky in that he is perfectly content playing his computer games and such while I study. Some of my classmates say their husbands actually get angry because they don't have enough time for them. That's just crazy to me! What else are they supposed to do? Flunk out?? Insanity. I am very fortunate.

Just like everything else, I did mediocre at best at my listening (and not sharing) goal. Although I still felt my mouth take over and feel the need to chime in way too often, I did attempt to listen more than I talked. It's nice to hear what other people have to say, I just have to give them the opportunity to say it.

My facebook hiatus was the one thing I actually succeeded at! It was the easiest one, I know, but it's something! I still have that instinct to, whenever I get on the computer, pull up my browser and type in Facebook.com, but I fought the urge! I didn't go on once except to pop in yesterday and catch up for a minute. And I'm cool with that. Once a week still keep's me up to date on what's going on in people's lives, without facebook becoming my life.

Not a bad first week, but hoping for more success next week! Of course, I will keep you posted :)

Passions...

Otherwise known as, things I wish I had time for and maybe will once I'm out of school?? In no particular order, just how they come to mind.

• I want to learn how to play the sax... Well, better. Taught myself a few years ago and didn't keep with it. I have absolutely no muscle tone in my jaw to play reed instruments anymore :/
• Learn how to play the piano. Probably my number one! Well, tied with learning Spanish and German...
• Learn German. My husband is fluent and I would love to be able to take part in teaching our future children. Also some of his family doesn't know English and it would be so much easier to get to know them if I didn't have to have everything interpreted. 
• Learn Spanish - I live in Texas. It would make my life and other's lives so much easier!
• Pick up the clarinet, again. Was first chair for most of my school career and then stopped to play tennis.
• Play some jazz
• Finally learn how to use my computer and compile my own versions of said jazz music (see above) with my newly acquired piano, clarinet and sax skills
• Play competitive tennis again
• Figure out that whole knitting thing. My mother-in-law attempted to teach me, but I kept forgetting key parts!
• Be an RN. And a good one, at that.
• Get a master's in nutrition?
• Paint. All the time. Perhaps naked and on the balcony of a white southern mansion circa 1945. Oh, wait, that's a scene from the Notebook. But really, I do love to paint. It's too bad I don't have much talent for it.
• Maybe draw a little, too.
• Listen to NPR Science Friday. All day, every Friday.
• Finally get on all those ideas for books. And FINISH them!
• Travel. Anywhere. Everywhere.
• Visit my friends in other cities, states and countries. 
• Read all sacred religious texts. Read most of the bible (the new unerring word of god, not the old one that used to be the unerrant word of god, but we changed our minds...), but there is so much more to see! It's like a little glimpse into the psyche of different cultures at different points in history. Just fascinating.
• Read every book in the world. Because you know, that's totally possible. And I'm sure I'd like everyyy single one. (Side Note: Worst books ever and proof I will not like every book ever? The Yearling and Moby Dick. Ew.)

As you can see, my problem is I enjoy doing too many things. How can I fit it all into one lifetime?

Also, when you dabble in everything, you don't end up good at anything! lol. I'm mediocre at best in a select few and mostly suck at everything else. But hey, like my past post said, perfection isn't what matters, enjoyment is!

Clinicals

Thursdays and Fridays are my clinical days.
In case I haven't mentioned it before, this is my first semester in Nursing School and that makes this my first clinical rotation. Me and 8 of my classmates (I have a class of 79, and they split us up into smaller groups at different hospitals and units.) are at the med-surg unit for 4 weeks and the oncology unit for one.

So I was in med-surg and will be for the remaining two weeks of the class, as I did my oncology rotation last week.

It was an interesting two days. Well, three really. Because on Wednesdays we go to our unit and pick our patients. You see who's available, ask their permission to be your victim and if they say yes, research their chart, condition and any other pertinent information you can get your hands on. That way you're prepared (or as much as you can be) for taking care of them. Normally Wednesdays are pretty short. It usually takes only about an hour to do what you need to do.

But of course, THIS Wednesday, our first picking our OWN patients - not assigned by faculty - THEY RAN OUT OF PATIENTS.

No joke.

You can choose your own time to pop in and pick and I chose to go a little later around 4pm (everyone else went around 1:30). My train of thought was by then, the docs and nurses would know pretty definitively who was going and who was staying. God forbid I do all of this work and research only for them to go home later that afternoon and have to do it all over again the next day! And for all intents and purposes, my plan worked. The problem was, everyone was leaving.

Yeah. When I got there at 4, two of the girls who had been there since 1:30 were STILL there! Just waiting to see if someone was either coming in from ER or not going to be discharged. And just our luck, exactly two were expected to. And if you've done the math that means three students and two patients.

Well, shit! I of course was going to let the other two get them. They've already been waiting two, coming up on three hours! I'm not going to swoop in and snatch the new patients! So I called my professor and she recommended coming back later, because in all likelihood all of those empty beds were going to be re-filled. So that's what I did. And at 7, back I come. The other two students are STILL THERE WAITING!! I had enough time to read a whole chapter while they were stuck here waiting! How cray cray is that?

Well, as luck would have it, at 8:30 when I think there is no hope and I don't know what I'm going to do, one of my classmates hears from an RN that there is another patient coming up from ER. And did I snatch that up faster than you can say FUCKTHISSHIT. So luckily, it all worked out, and I left around 9:15pm only to return at 6:45am. And the best part? I'm not even getting paid for this shit yet, lol. I'M paying THEM!

Turns out it was the first clinicals where I wasn't panicked and miserable all day, both days. I actually feel like I'm getting into the swing of things. Well, as much as possible, I mean I'm going to be clueless for quite some time, but at least I feel like I'm progressing like I should be. And that's all I want! I don't expect be the world's best RN the fourth week of school, but I do want to feel like I've got a handle on the objectives and situations expected of me!

Also, I think it helps that the staff is getting used to us and thus hating us a little less. Now that they know what our limits are, they are more comfortable asking us to do this or that and suddenly we went from 'annoying and in the way' (understandably so...) to the people they can shove all the easy, time consuming crap off on. And let me tell you: We are happy to do it. We want to be helpful and liked. And if that means helping with bedpans and bed baths, bring it on!

So all in all, a MUCH better experience than the last two weeks. THANK GOODNESS. I was getting worried there for a second, lol. Maybe this nursing school thing won't be SO bad, after-all.  Just marginally hellish is fine with me :) I'll let you know how next week goes!